Don’t we all need a love story? This one has a happy ending. Except if you show it to a queer person, they’ll probably roll their eyes. That’s how I imagine it, anyway.
The video is entirely stock footage—a heteronormative tale of falling in love during a waterside picnic, rowing away together, while the animal life and sunshine seem to sing “kiss the girl.”
But if the music feels disjointed, that’s because I didn’t write “Holding Hands” for this couple. The song is about the opposite of what you see on screen.
I was thinking about what it’s like to dare to hold hands as a queer couple, particularly for those of us from a later generation. To this day, I still hesitate depending on where my husband and I are walking—is there a rainbow flag nearby? Who’s watching us, and are they wearing a red hat? Growing up in the shadow of Matthew Shepard, holding my husband’s hand never quite shakes the sense of risk or rebellion.
On the other hand, this straight couple in the video is on a date, completely carefree. Maybe the electricity between them would feel titillating, but they’re never worried about hiding.
Would I love to remake this video with queer actors? Absolutely. (It wasn’t in the budget.) Instead, we’re left with a provocative contrast: why does the soundtrack of a queer love story feel unsettling when paired with the privilege of a straight one?
When my husband first watched the video, he said something like, “Uh oh, is he going to kill her in the woods?” He wasn’t alone—my best friend thought something ominous was coming, too. They both picked up on the tension in the music, which I wrote from a place of well-learned fear. Maybe it sounds irrational by today’s standards, but I’ve worried that a public display of affection could end with me dead. And that experience is inextricable with the sound of this piece.
My hope is that today’s young people have no idea what I’m rambling about. That they’d shrug and say, Who cares? Just hold hands. It’s their problem, not yours.
Despite its traditionalist archetype, I still admire a happily-ever-after like the one in the video. But maybe that’s a mistake. Maybe I should queer the Hallmark ending.
What would that look like?
What would this entire video look like?
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